Today is Monday, which of course means I spent my evening watching The Sarah Connor Chronicles.  If you haven’t seen it, you’re missing out.  Mainly because of Summer Glau.  But what I really wanted to write about is something that happens in tons of action movies and really bugs me.  I guess it doesn’t really bug me, it’s kinda if nit-picky really, but still…

At one point during the show, one characteer gives another a pistol and asks, “Do you know how to use this?”  Rather than say anything, the second character ejects the mag, loks at it, replaces it in the gun and then cycles the slide.  This is a universal action movie reply that means, generally speaking, “Fuck yes I know how to use it.  The real question is, ‘Do you know how to load it?’  Why don’t I just go ahead and make sure you do, chucklehead.”  It’s a little pretentious.  Here’s my real concern, though: knowing how to eject a magazine doesn’t mean shit when it comes to actually firing a weapon.  I have full confidence that any one of you, my loyal readers, who hasn’t ever shot a gun could very quickly figure out how to eject a mag.  Here’s a hint: it’s the only button on the gun.  I’m also pretty sure that everyone knows to cycle the slide before firing a pistol.  Most likely from the same action movies I just mentioned.  My overall point is that that’s a pretty piss-poor response to an honest question.

Consider an analogy.  You’re fifteen.  You’ve never operated a car before in your life.  Someone hands you a set of keys and asks if you know how to drive.  Instead of answering them, like a normal person, you swagger over to the car to show them how badass you truly are.  Answer me this: having never driven before in your life, do you think you could manage to unlock the door, get in the car, place the key in the ignition, and start the engine?  Of course you could.  That’s the easy part.  The not-so-easy part is somehow keeping yourself from subsequently plowing into a tree or cop car because you don’t know how to drive.

What am I getting at?  If someone gives you a gun and asks if you know how to use, just answer them.  Please.  Because, let’s be honest, if you ever find yourself in that situation, shit’s about to go down and it’s no time to be a cocky asshole.  Or accidentally shoot people in the face trying to prove that you (ironically) know how to not accidentally shoot people in the face.